


Untethered

by galaxyhitchiker



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Spoilers, Civil War (Marvel), Fix-It, M/M, Not Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant, One Shot, POV Tony Stark, Tony Angst, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-01
Updated: 2016-06-01
Packaged: 2018-06-08 09:53:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6849595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/galaxyhitchiker/pseuds/galaxyhitchiker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"He killed my mother," Tony snarls viciously, accusingly, <em>brokenly</em>, and then there is nothing but the startling beginnings of repulsor sparking against shield, machine against super soldiers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Untethered

When Tony watches his father's head being bashed in and his mother bleeding from the impact of Bucky's suffocating hold in the video, he closes his eyes disbelievingly at the grainy black and white film. It ends, the screen blinking black, and a silence ensues that feels like the heaviest thing that's ever pressed down on him in his life.

Without thought, he whirls to Bucky, anger overwhelming every other logical thought running through his mind. But before he can lash out in his armor, a strong grip stops him.

"Tony," Steve pleads, and there's so much emotion trapped into that one word Tony can't help but stop. To think. And think. 

He's angry as fuck, but it's something he can control by now. Tony's breathing raggedly, chest heaving from something awful trying to claw out of him even as he stands still. There's a question at the tip of his tongue, threatening to escape from his lips, before he can stop- "Did you know?"

Nothing.

Steve is composed, eyes flickering with something unreadable. "I didn't know it was him."

But he's  _lying,_ damn it, he's lying, evading, treading on broken glass. Tony can tell, of course, from the way Steve tries so hard to keep his gaze and control his expression and hide the muscles twitching in his face. Of course he knows, after all this time examining every precious detail of Steve night after night, day after day.

Something snaps within Tony as Steve lies straight to his face. Right through his teeth.

Voice rising, heart pounding, he repeats the question in a dangerously loud voice, "Don't bullshit me, Rogers. _D_ _id you know?"_

Silence is enough of answer. Defeated and tired, Iron Man's faceguard clicks back into face, Tony's familiar features replaced by glowing metal. Dangerous. Hardened. Resilient. And now, after everything they've been through, they know there isn't anything that can possibly happen after this besides fighting.

Tony sees red. And it's not enough to overcome logic, the fact that he _knows_ that wasn't really Bucky, he _knows_ he was being fucking mind controlled and brainwashed by HYDRA.

But somehow, the strangled cries of his mother and her face, twisted in pain, seem to deflect all his reasonable thoughts of _knowing._

"He killed my mother," Tony snarls viciously, accusingly, _brokenly_ , and then there is nothing but the startling beginnings of repulsor sparking against shield, machine against super soldiers. He's not surprised Steve is choosing to defend Bucky- of course, because they have some telepathic inseparable bond that he'll never measure up to. Bitter jealousy spikes through his mind.

He hits harder.

"He's not going to stop," Steve tells Bucky, and Tony is angry beyond belief. He's some kind of raging monster set on destroying the world in their eyes now, he guesses. It's like Steve isn't new to the fact that his best friend killed his parents- oh, wait, he isn't.

Because he's been hiding it from him this entire time. And Tony had thought they were finally starting to respect each other.

As if he weren't mad enough, Bucky slips away through an opening right before Tony fires desperately and blindly at the building walls, effectively collapsing most of it and sealing whatever passages outside there are left. But the glint of silver and a flash of shoulder-length black hair against the grimy walls and dim lighting confirm what needs to be confirmed.

Tony cannot let the murderer escape. He will do whatever it takes to restrain the Winter Soldier, hold him at the verge of death until he sees the same fear in his eyes that Tony saw clearly in his mother's face before her life was taken from her. Furiously, he activates both repulsors to fire a damn hole, opening, anything, _whatever_ , into the rubble-

"Tony," a voice pleads, and something in the way his name is _said_ , quietly and softly and desperately and hauntingly all at once, makes him hesitate. "Please, Tony, look at me. I want to see your eyes."

 _I want to see your eyes._ He lowers himself to the ground, landing with an audible thud, probably fracturing something- but he doesn't care at all right now. Laughing bitterly, Tony automatically flips the faceguard up, spitting blood to the ground. He knows he must look a mess: crimson-stained face, cuts, bruises, a few strands of unkempt hair curling near his eyes. Steve's eyes widen as he breathes heavily- from fatigue or newly gained knowledge of what exactly he's doing to Tony, he doesn't know.

With a limp so severe not even the suit can hide it, Tony hobbles closer. He's surprised the shield doesn't come spinning into view, but then again, he probably looks like he can't take another step without falling. 

"You're a _jerk_ ," Tony whispers, and he doesn't call Steve anything worse because he's cursed so much at this point he doesn't think it'll make much of an emphasis at all. "You lied to me about the one thing I really can't get over and it-"

His eyes well up with tears. "You saw my mother being fucking choked to death and you didn't even think to tell me. Because what? Because you were _protecting_ me?"

At some point Steve has ripped his cowl off, but Tony doesn't give two shits because he's finally _speaking._

"And now you're just going to let that- that _killer_ get away, without a scratch, and I'm sure you'll follow him into the sunset together," Tony screams, "So to conclude, I really fucking hate you, Cap! Self-righteous man of America. You're a bastard. You're nothing but-"

"Tony, I-" Steve begins, but he's interrupted again. How is his voice so calm, Tony wonders, and how is his so _loud._

 _"And how am I going to get over this?_ It was just a goddamn scab, Steve, the wound, and now it's opened again and I can't- it-" 

The next minutes happen in very quick succession.

One second Tony is standing, yelling, hands clenched into fists of stone and venomous words pouring from his mouth. The next, he's on his knees, sobbing, stance defeated and tired and everything he's never wanted to _show_. Expose. Reveal. It's so fast he wonders how he became this mess, eating himself up and out from the inside, like a roiling darkness of bad thoughts festering into oblivion.

Then Steve's arms are wrapped around him. It feels like a heavy deadweight in the suit, and Tony tries to push him away. Again and again and again, even though he's not really trying because he's too busy bawling his eyes out. Steve murmurs words of comfort, random and meaningless, but the steady hum helps Tony concentrate anyway.

He kisses Tony, too, as best as he can under the faceguard. It's sweet and needy. Right afterwards, he goes right back to clutching Tony like he's never going to let go. Maybe he won't. 

"I can't," Tony says, selfishly leaning in comfort into the strong, warm hold of Steve. That's all he says, and it's somehow enough for the soldier to understand. 

In response, he tells him, "I know," and holds the other man tighter. There's something invaluably precious about this moment, Tony Stark melting into Steve's arms without protest. He's not sure that's something Tony's ever done voluntarily to anyone- except maybe his mother.

His mother. Tony's mother.

Guilt weighs down on Steve. It's crushing, the way they're dealing, because he's never felt this much when fighting a villain. An antagonistic force. It all seems too simple, whittled down to a singular moment of friends against fiends, because there are several things that have been clarified down to the multi-millionth pixel in this scene, like raising the sharpness level on a photo.

 _Number one_ : Anthony Edward Stark is not Steven Grant Roger's enemy. Iron Man is not Captain America's enemy.

 _Number two_ : Steven Grant Rogers loves Anthony Edward Stark. There's no denying the crushing but liberating way he feels, and has been feeling for a long time now. It's only ever been this way with Peggy, but even  _that_ might not measure up. 

 _Number three_ : What's happening right now means absolutely fucking everything to him.

And so Captain America holds the fragile inner workings of Iron Man in his embrace for a time. It's not indestructible, not unbreachable, not immortal, like Tony has made himself out to be, fooled them all to be. 

Tony's just... human. Steve understands. He knows they still have a long way to go, countless apologies and forgivings and fights and journeys, but it'll be together.

It's a start.

**Author's Note:**

> We all know Bucky wouldn't actually leave Steve there, but I just needed to throw him out for a bit so Stony could happen privately. Forgive me.


End file.
